Recently, I attended a powerful session on marriage. As I sat there listening it felt almost as if my mother was in the room speaking through every topic discussed. It was as though people were simply sharing her wisdom which was a reminder that what she carried and poured into us wasn’t just for us but for many.
It gave me such joy almost a quiet victory to see that what she taught is still shaping others today. I smiled through most of it feeling her so close.
One of the strongest points was that marriage is a lifelong commitment. It covers not just the beautiful, polished parts of each other but also the flaws the seen and unseen imperfections.
I couldn’t help but think of Mum and how she lived this truth. Even after my father passed she stayed in his home, right there in his father’s compound where they had built their life together. It meant a great deal to her. She always referred to herself proudly as his wife even in death.
What is commitment if not that? They say “till death do us part,” but she used to laugh and say, “For me, it’s even in death, I shall remain yours.”
I like to believe they are happy together in heaven still bound by that deep and unwavering love. Her life taught me that true commitment doesn’t stop at the grave but it is something eternal.
Communication & Teamwork that keeps your hearts tied together which is the glue of marriage and without it, misunderstandings creep in and hearts drift. Poor communication can breed resentment and shut doors that take long to open again.
This made me think of how Mum always seemed to find a way to keep people talking and to let small things go and not hold grudges as she created room for each person to share without fear. I realised in that moment that her gentle ways had shaped my understanding of what teamwork and communication in marriage should look like.
Another big lesson was about sacrifice over selfishness and how love means doing what you are supposed to do not just what you feel like. They said selfishness is the enemy of kindness and that stuck with me.
I remembered how Mum often reminded us not in direct words but through the way she prioritised home, children and family. She showed that the primary spending of money, time and energy should be on your household first. And it’s in those small daily sacrifices that a marriage is truly held together.
They also spoke staying rooted in God and growing together. There is spiritual battle around marriages, how the enemy seeks to steal, kill and destroy homes. I couldn’t help but think of how Mum constantly prayed for us, our homes, our children and our futures.
She had this unshakable trust in God and though she never stood over us preaching but she had a favourite line would say; “Talk to God about everything. He gave you your husband and He knows best how you two can live together.”
That anchored faith is something I now see as non-negotiable in building a lasting and peaceful home.
This session wasn’t just a teaching but it was almost like sitting with Mum again hearing her wisdom come alive through others. I walked away with my heart full reminded that marriage is really about embracing imperfections, communicating and working as a team, loving sacrificially and staying deeply rooted in God.
It is about being your spouse’s greatest support, seeing the good in them, nurturing it and trusting that people can become even better when loved rightly. It was a gentle nudge that I must keep building, forgiving, learning and above all, praying just as Mum would have wanted.
TUHAME ❤️
