He Stole from Me!

As we dated, I never met his friends nor his family. Anyway, maybe I didn’t care about meeting them. He is such a good company! I wouldn’t want to spend anytime from him! Even when I had to hangout with the girls. We would text all the time and could tell each other how we can’t wait to meet again! I always meant it because he made me believe that I am his 1st priority and of course last. (Okay, that’s what I thought and still think).

We went to the movies and later headed to the hotel where he said that his boss wanted to surprise his daughter on her return from UK! I love parents who care about their children and go an extra to surprise them. So we head there. He proposed to me in a luxurious hotel in Kampala! Who would have missed this! There were my friends, siblings and his 2 workmates (who I was convinced were his friends). It was a night I remember on a daily basis! He gave me all the reasons to love it.

The wedding was spectacular! I loved the ring, the dance moves and of course his speech promise of how he will live with me and how my people will be his people. I believe that now, they are no longer my people but his people. it is a happy marriage, okay to other people I have a God sent husband! He is every one’s dream. Yeah, he is MINE however much he has stolen from me and everyone around me is okay with it. I feel empty. All i can do is PRAY. Maybe that will help a lot. All I want is your side of story. I want you to tell me why you are stealing from me. Why you have never talked about your parents. How this marriage has been just you and me of course plus my family. Where is your family? What did they do? I need answers for why you steal from me!
Fast forward, I dump into him for an “unrelated” reason so that I can confront him and ask why. I always like to try to understand people, while there is no reason to ever get possessed about your wife’s family and worse when she doesn’t know your family, he could have been in a really rough situation possibly rejection, owes someone money, disowned; forgive my mind it has thought of many possible things why I know nothing of his linage nor his people. Could he have been abandoned? Was he a street kid that made it through life with the good Samaritans? If any of those situations are true, he should have been up front with me and tell me his story. He doesn’t want to talk about it! Today our first born is making 7years, yeah 7 YEARS! And he asked me about Dad’s relatives. What should I say? How can I tell my son that Mum doesn’t even know them. I don’t know his close friends, all he has are my friends that turned into his close friends! Should I tell him that I don’t even know his tribe? Or I say like any other mother would say, “go ask Dad, he will tell you all you want to know”. I know asking him myself won’t make a difference. I have asked more than 1000 times, and his answer is silence if not he simply looks at me and walks away. I don’t want my son to feel this, but maybe he should try his luck.

Having a family or not, is no longer my issue. He has stolen mine! He stabbed me in the back and told Mum and Dad how I stress him over things that don’t matter. Okay you see Mum was born in a christian family which means “come home child however you are” but that has applied to my husband not me, their child. They are okay with the fact that he considers my family as his own and me the daughter of the house as the daughter in law. The good thing he looks so much like my brother. That even those that didn’t know i was the child of the home think he is the son of the house. Some people confuse him to be my brother. I should be happy. I should be grateful to my parents for allowing him the way he is, but am not. He has stolen my identity in my family. My siblings talk to him as their brother more than me. Actually what pissed me off is that he knew that my sister is going to UK in 2 days time and I just knew from him. Why, because he is that annoyingly involved in my family than I am! He is the one who knows when my parents will come to town and where they will be spending their nights; of course they come to my home without telling me that they are coming. Yeah, they tell my husband their son in law!

All am saying is that he has not just stolen my family but my friends too! He is involved with everyone I know. The other day my boss at work said that he had coffee with my husband, yeah! He hadn’t told me about it. Why; because to him he is his friend who he met on our last year company party. He now takes coffee with my boss. I should be happy. Okay I think am selfish or maybe I want some space…lol. I have no space. Every friend I introduce him to, he steals. He has a problem. He is good at stealing than making his own. And he is so good at keeping my friends than actually I can, which man knows birthdays and anniversaries of his friends; he does! He is good at this job!

I want him to see a shrink but how do i tell him? How do i say that he has a problem that needs to be cured? How will he react? Will he allow? He will hate me because I have been feeling like this for over 7 years! I know he wants to belong in my life but this is taking away everything from me. Was he in my place before? Does he know how it’s draining? He has stolen from me; my life, family, friends and sometimes when I visit home, it feels like am visiting my parents in-law!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To my parents thank you for loving my husband that you feel he is your son now and am your daughter in law. This is draining me. He has stolen you from me. And to my husband, find your family, I want mine back. You can stay with my friends. I will make others and you are allowed to steal them too. What can I do? You even treat them better and have a lot of stories to tell them. They trust you more than me, so why not? Maybe today our son can ask you and please tell him your relatives and why you haven’t told me. I will be in the kitchen listening to what you will say to our son.

To love, to truth and to openness.

💙❤️💙

*Based on a true story.🙏

TUHAME ❤️