Surrender to God’s Timing

At the start of this year, on January 2nd, I lost my mother. Saying that still feels like tearing open a wound. Nothing prepares you for the weight of losing someone who loved you so deeply and so purely. The kind of love only a mother gives that is constant, sacrificial and warm. It’s the love that taught me how to live and love.

And yet, through the heartbreak, God began to show me a new side of His love, the one I didn’t fully understand until I had to let go.
During her burial, I remember standing there, trying to make sense of it all. And I said something that came from the deepest place in my soul; “If God’s love is truly greater than the love Mum had for us then yes, He must have loved her even more than we did. So maybe… He wanted her with Him too..”. That thought, painful and comforting all at once helped me begin to release her into His hands.

I have never seen death so closely before like I did on 2nd January 2025. I was with her during those final minutes. I saw the oxygen levels drop. I pleaded with her to fight. “Mummy, fight… we still need you,” I whispered. And the oxygen crept up a little. For a moment, hope flickered. But then, it started dropping again. When it hit 70, I held her tightly. My voice trembling, I said, “Mummy, we love you. And it’s okay if you want to rest. We will make you proud here on earth.” That was the hardest thing I have ever had to say. But it was also the most freeing moment of surrender I have ever experienced.

It was then that the verse from Job became real to me:
“You have decided the length of our lives. You know how many months we will live, and we are not given a minute longer.” — Job 14:5 (NLT)
I used to run from verses like that. They felt final. But now, they feel sacred and comforting. Because I know her life wasn’t cut short. It was completed on time, by the One who gave it.
I have thought a lot about death since then not as a thief but as part of God’s intentional design. He gives. He takes. Not out of cruelty but out of love. And I have found peace in knowing He doesn’t take back what He once gave; He receives it home.

I recently heard a powerful eulogy by Dr. E.V. Hill as he stood over his wife’s casket and declared through tears, “The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.” When I heard that sermon, I finally understood Job’s faith all at once. That same God who gave my mother to us also lovingly called her home.

To anyone who hasn’t lost someone close, I say this; Love everyone you must, NOW. Don’t wait. Because one day, all that we will have are memories and the ones made with love and presence will be the ones that live on. So that when that day comes, when you must let go or be let go, what do you want people to remember? What will echo in their hearts when they speak your name?
That’s what it means to live with purpose.

So now, I live differently. I speak love freely. I hold people a little longer. I see each day not just as a gift but as a chance to make my mother proud and to leave behind the kind of love that helps others keep going just as she did.
God gave her to us. And in His perfect time, He called her back.
And still, through the tears and the ache. We shall say, Blessed be His name.

TUHAME❤️