There’s no handbook for watching your loved one slowly die of cancer. Because cancer doesn’t take someone all at once, it takes them slowly bit by bit. It’s like as if it doesn’t want you to notice that they are stepping away. From the moment of diagnosis, it’s there sitting quietly at the back of your mind, even when life looks normal.
You cling to every good scan, every promising result, every smile, every glimpse of who they used to be but then, looking back, you see it.
You see it, right there in your face and you missed it. Because you see the laugh that grew quieter. The body that grew weaker. The stories that stopped. The light that dimmed in the eyes that stopped looking at you. And then comes the guilt.
You realize you had already lost them a thousand different ways before that final day. So when they finally die… it’s not the first goodbye! It’s the last of many. Cancer takes them piece by piece and it takes pieces of you too. That’s what breaks me because why didn’t I see it? It was right there in my eyes but I kept hoping for a better tomorrow while they were slowly walking away… Stepping closer and closer to their grave as I watched.
Looking back now, I know that cancer doesn’t just take a life. It takes fragments of who they are and of who you are long before the end.
So, let’s hold on tightly. Let’s appreciate every moment, every smile, every story, every second with the ones we love because they might be here today but we don’t know about tomorrow.
TUHAME ❤️
